Finally home after like 5 days... i dunno.  I left on wednesday or tuesday.. don't remember.  I dunno had fun... uhm went to partys.. got really fucked up...uhmm New years was sick.. deff. fuckin fun.  Oh and I really fuckin love Chris.  I'm fuckin blazzed right now.. so i'm gunna go watch a movie or something...

y0u know you love me <3

 

 

Merry Christmas, happy new year.. almost. I had a great fucking christmas. Chris came with me to my
family shit and i went with him to his.. He loved the bowl, he's been waiting for that hockey stick, and he
loved the tupac ressurection book. Good shit. lol. I got so much stuff, man. I got madddd clothes, a dope
name ring, a gift certificate to the spa, perfumes, i dunno.. just madd stuff. Sarha got me the 2Pac, 'loyal
to the game' cd. There a couple good sonds, but fuckin Eminem should not be producing pac's beats.
Not cool. like almost all the songs are not even done in 2pac's style... very disapointing. As i always say
though, rap isn't what it used to be. Chris got me victorias secret heavenly stuff, an eyebrow ring, and a
candle. He said he wnts to get me more, but i don't want him to, i don't care. He thinks we shoulda spent
the same amount on eachother, but it doesn't matter. I like buying shit for people. Anywayz.. yesterday
was 1/2 a year for me and christopher!! It sucked tho, we didn't even get to see eachother...
He was @ his cousins and didn't get home till madd late, he had asked me to come.. but i was @ tanger.
We're gunna chill today when he gets off work, my dad is leaving today and he won't be back till thursday..
whoop-whoop. lol. Anywayz.. i love him so much and i can wait to have him in my bed tonight.. lol. I just
like sleeping with him.. he's very comfortable. hahah. Well i gotta get in the shower soon me and sarah
are about to get upp. Oh also my boss gave madd people off till the 2nd week on jan., cuz he's goin away.
So hit me up guyz.. i ain't doin shit else

Grrr-Arghhh. You say that shit.. it deleted my whole fuckin entry! Yeah had an alright weekend. Spent some time with my moms. Chris and me got in a figh last night over some stupid shit. It's all good now. Waiting for him. He should be here any minute tho. So i'll write more later. Sorry not too interesting tonight. My other entry was interesting, but this stupid service gliched up on me. And I don't have the will to rewrite that again and plain and simply I'm lazy.

w0wzaaaa... madd out of it.  Sarah and me chilled wit some kids we havn't chilled wit it sooo long.Shit has been preety good latley.  Trying to get ready for christmas, know what i'm getting everyone except my brother.  I got Rhiannon her presents and i got part of sarah's and my dad's, and my uncle.  I getting so much school work done.  I'm actually taking the time and doing it all at night plus doing that shit hard at tutoring, if i don't i won't graduate.  Right now i'm busy catching up on four months of assignments. lol.  At first my guidence counsler was saying i was 1/2 a credit short, but then he said i can get a 1/2 credit for work study, for working @ the county center.  I just have to save my pay stubs.   Yeah I finally stopped being a bum.  i go to school, then i go to work or babysit.  Then chill wit sarah and some people smoke a l or whatever, you need after a long day, lol.  do some school work and most of the time chill with my baby.  Trying to balance my life out more, like balance my day, stay busy you know.  People make themselves get in ruts and feel shitty sometimes because they leave themselves with tooo much time  overthink shit and just think to much in general.  I think thats the conclusion.  I dunno.  Going to try to go concentrate on some stupid nuclear equations.  Then maybe chillin with chris after he's done playing hockey, probably not, but it's iight... i need to go to bed earlier.    

I'm hating life right now. Shit is just not going good. I don't even wanna get into it. Miss my baby. FUCK RIVERHEAD SCHOOL DISTRICT!! write more later. Check this out tho... www.flyguycrew.com

After a nice two or three day break from my crazzzzy house.. I feel a bit more relieved. I'm about to go back out anyway tho. lol. I finally went back to work today. Uhhmm.. anyway. All that crazy shit that was going down friday and saturday has blown over. Brad, Sarah, and me finished the rest of that krazy shit yesterday... and I promised Chris I'd stay away from it for a while. talkin on the phone write more later..

Just got home from chris's. Last night I chilled with Brad and Travis for a while. Didn't really do much. Got high- took some bong hits. Then Chris came and picked me up... we went to John's and then Brett's. Got high again and watched some crazy cartoon. That new show "drawn together" that show is twisted. Yeah time flew and before we knew it it was like fucking three in the morning. Went back to Chris's. His dad let us take the challenger for a hot min today, that was cool. lol. I lost my fucking $900 pinky ring last night, so not cool dude. I dunno man. I need to get my shit together, I really need some fucking motivation... I've become to apathetic. I really need to start getting some shit done. Yeah, it'll happen.. eventually. It's just I feel that I'm basically so torn... on one hand I can't wait to grow up and be on my own and just live my own life, yet I don't wanna... what is growing up... jumping into the vicious circle of redundance. Where everything is so scheduled and set straight. It can make a person feel so trapped, like what is the whole purpose? Work to make money which goes so quickly? Maybe I'll become a crack dealer. lol. nah lemme stop. I'm just afraid that in the end my life will have held no purpose, like I'll die a nobody who had no effect on anything. Like I wanna do something, I wanna be somebody. I guess I just wanna be happy. Atleast I have Chris. Last night talking to Brad I realized I'm such a lucky girl. I'm so lucky to have found Chris, it's so hard to find good people these days and I have just found the most amazing guy ever. I jus can't even explain it.. I love him so much. Now I really know what REAL LOVE is, I finally found s o m e t h i n g r e a . I'm about to go to the liquer store with my dad and go pick up Rhiannon. Tonight should be a fun night. Maybe a lil YAYOOO tonight kiddies. And thats a wrap for today... you know you love me <3l

I'm sooo bored. I'm probably not doing shit tonight. I think Chris is going to a halloween party up the island. All I wanted to do all weekend was get dressed up in my SCHOOL GIRL COSTUME and go to a fucking halloween party. Never happened. It doesn't really bother me that he's going to a halloween party, I'm saying i slept over his house thursday, friday, and saturday night... he's probably sick of me. lol. I might possibly do something with sarah.. but there ain't shit to do.. so. Probably not. I hate being here in this house. Either it's completley empty or people or fucking bugging. Kevin and me walk in the house from the shop and Denise is screaming at the baby, some shit like "why don't you listen? Nevermind. Just get out of my life." Then she slams the door. Okay she's 2 and denise needs to fucking stop putting shit up her nose and grow the fuck up. So stressed out. It's this house this house makes me stressed out. Anyway... I'm getting myself more aggrivated talking about this... So I had an alright weekend tho. Gunna go laye down or something.